The holidays can be joyful, but also overwhelming. Increased social demands, family dynamics, financial pressures, and emotional triggers can all dysregulate the nervous system. The following tools support mind-body regulation, helping you return to a place of safety and connection. Each tool also includes a link to a Flowly workshop if you are interested in diving deeper into the topics.
Set and Protect Boundaries
Boundaries keep your nervous system safe.
- Identify what feels draining or overwhelming and set limits around time, energy, and emotional labor.
- Use clear, kind language:
- “I’d love to join, but I need some downtime today.”
- “Let’s talk about something lighter.”
- “I’d love to join, but I need some downtime today.”
- Remember: Saying no is not rejection, it’s self-respect.
Healthy boundaries reduce stress hormones and support emotional balance.
Practice Self-Soothing
The nervous system regulates through felt safety.
- Try physical self-soothing techniques:
- Feel your feet on the floor.
- Take three slow breaths, exhaling longer than you inhale.
- Engage your senses: notice five things you can see, four you can touch, three you can hear, two you can smell, one you can taste.
- Use gentle movement: stretching, walking, or rocking.
- Apply warmth, a blanket, bath, or heated compress, to signal comfort and safety to the body.
- Feel your feet on the floor.
- Try emotional self-soothing techniques:
- Name what you feel: “I’m feeling anxious,” “I’m lonely,” or “I’m overstimulated.” Naming emotions helps calm the brain.
- Offer emotional validation: “It’s okay to feel this way,” or “This makes sense given what’s happening.”
- Journal or express feelings through writing, drawing, or talking with a trusted person.
- Use comfort imagery: visualize being held, supported, or surrounded by warmth and care.
- Create a soothing playlist or mantra that brings comfort
Notice and Reframe Negative Thinking
Stress is perpetuated by our inner dialogue.
- Pause and notice your thoughts when you feel anxious or tense.
- Ask yourself: “Is this thought true? Is it helpful?”
- Replace harsh or catastrophic thinking with grounded, compassionate truths.
- Example: “I can’t handle this” → “I’m doing my best, and I can take one step at a time.”
- Use gentle self-talk: “This feeling will pass,” “I’m safe right now,” or “I can give myself what I need.”
- Example: “I can’t handle this” → “I’m doing my best, and I can take one step at a time.”
Cultivate Self-Compassion
Self-compassion activates the body’s soothing system, reducing anxiety and shame.
- Speak to yourself as you would a loved one: “It’s okay to feel overwhelmed, it’s been a stressful day!”
- Remind yourself that imperfection and stress are part of being human.
- Place a hand on your heart and say, “May I feel safe. May I feel supported. May I give myself kindness.”
- Let go of the pressure for the “perfect holiday”. Connection, not perfection, is what nourishes the nervous system.
Quick practices for when you are overwhelmed:
- Step outside for a few minutes of fresh air.
- Splash cool water on your face.
- Do 10 slow exhales while relaxing your shoulders.
- Listen to calming music or sounds of nature.
- Visualize a safe or peaceful place.
Nervous system regulation is a practice, not perfection!
Each moment you pause, breathe, or choose kindness toward yourself, you’re teaching your nervous system that it’s safe to rest, connect, and enjoy the present moment.